I can’t lie –
I feel so unproductive nowadays,
Like nothing that I do
Holds any meaning in any way,
Endless entertainment,
Perpetual inaction,
But nothing that’ll remain permanent.
Doesn’t bring any sense of satisfaction.
Lifeless – is that the word?
I’m more alive at night than other times.
Perhaps I spend too long indoors
And I can’t really stand being confined.
I just don’t want to close my eyes.
This time is precious, I tell myself,
The lows will be made up for by the highs
But they’re really isn’t anything else.
Is this how I’ll go on?
Night after night, day after day,
Until all the time is gone,
And through my hands my life’s faded away.
(April 2023)